...
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to many syndomes! waaa! LSS!!

Stirring up the mood...
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sometimes, you feel like crying. Whenever you hear something beautiful or bad, youre hurt or youre glad... many time, you really feel like youre going to burst... as if all emotions will just explode out of you, frustration, anger, sorrow, despair. moments as if you really want to cry... as much as you could..

somehow, i like to cry... now, i dont know whether its about joy, or sadness... i just want to cry... listening to the same old music... my mind is relax yet giving me time to think of thoughts... my dad, my studies, my life... i really want to cry... its a rare feeling... i just dont want to say it aloud... its just screaming out of this putrid mind of mine... the piano, the violin, its pulling me inside a spiral of emotion which i cant explain.. i can feel my heart clench at the same time smiling... its just a great wonder of music... it can make you dance, laugh, relax, fall asleep... 

*sigh*   

warming breeze
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been learning how to play violin ( im currently learning "kiss the rain" - yiruma ) .. it really is a great instrument.. it can change your mood in a second... i really love to hear the tune of sweet notes entering my ear... it really stirs up my mood to something i cant explain... its not depressing, but its not that jolly either... i cant explain it.. things go into my mind... it is as if i longed for something i dont know.. sigh.. not all people enjoy listening to classical music... you cant appreciate music like this if you dont have the deeper feeling towards music...  for me, its just that you can feel every note.. as if it has lyrics... whispering to you every word that only you heart can ever imagine... i just feel like closing my eyes, listening to the music and just think about the things that can open you heart... i just can express what im feeling right now... somehow... i kinda like this mood... sad melancholic mood...

reminiscing..
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funny how one person change your life..
how one person can change everything that you believe in..
how one person just enter you life and make you whole...
how someone smile at you and changes your heartbeat..
how that one person changes everything in your world..
funny how i used to look ate the back row, looking at her while she's writing, catches me while looking at her, changes my glance to something else then slowly looking back at her..
funny how i used to smile whenever i see her smile...
the times that i was just a stranger talking to someone whom i was admiring..
funny how you remember things back then..
the times that you giggle the time she laughs..
the times that your telling jokes, just to have a topic..
the time that she's telling you to tell her your secret..
it was just overwhelming...
i cant explain it..
i just feel soo inlove, over and over again..
it just flew as flashbacks..
i just cant believe that im so blessed with someone who appreciates me...
how that one person that you used to admire is the one who is giving you a reason to fight for everything..
how one person who used to be a stranger completes everything in you..
how that stranger make you life whole...
thank you... for seeing through me... for making me feel so special... 
i love you.. and nothing in this world can ever change that!
i dont need crapping reasons.. i just love you... feeling this is enough for me...
your my reason for everything...
thank you for giving me such reason...

super..
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i miss you.. :(

just another crap 2....
blue eyes
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well, just a thought..

why does a bubble only last for second or two... is anything in this world  permanent? would anybody care if a seed turns into a tree?
i guess there isnt a thing in this world which will be called "permanent" ...
the tiny pebble,
huge rocks,
the grass, and flowers,
the trees, the sun,
the earth, time,
even us, changes through every minute that pass..
i guess no one can ever say that things in his/her life is permanent..
they say, the only thing in this world that is not permanent is changes...
things change.. neither we like it or not, we have to accept the fact that things will change overtime..
things will go neither we like it or not...
gifts, feelings, food, you, me , everyone else change...
a long day comes with a cold night..
we only create things just to satisfy us for a time..
changes... is it good.? or is it bad..?
will it make things better? or worsen.?
things will just be blown away...
even life itself...

well, for me it only teaches us to live it while it last..
change is the best part of living..
it makes you feel life worth living for..
in a little time that is given to us,
we should know that things will pass us by..
it can be in a blink of an eye..
we should know that the song should not be finished just for the sake to sing it...
but how you feel the song while your playing it..
we shouldnt take life seriously..
the joy, the laughter, the moments, the time,
all of this will be gone someday,
we must live it until the last drop of leaves fall out in the tree..
we should not think when will be our last breath,
but to live every single breath we take..
we shouldnt think why we laugh,
but enjoy the moment of laughing while it last..
a bubble is blown isnt just to be pop out...
but to enjoy the moment while it flies...

they say you cant make them stay forever...
i say i give them reasons to stay longer....

another crappiness in my head...
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when i was little, i used to have many dream about this world...
so many questions i used to ask...
why is this like this, why is it like that..
are things supposed to be this way..?
are we moving the way we supposed to move.?
i used to believe in the thing they called fate and destiny..
things that are not supposed to be there...
things that only exist in the minds of every individual..
the thing they call dream...
when i was young,
i have my own world...
a world in which everything is perfect..
i used to believe that dream can become reality...
a reality that can be achieve by anyone who surpass its challenges..
the only thing that binds the reality and fiction..
a product of our human want...
it is for some other people, their strength for achieving their goals..
a strong force of hope that drives us to fulfill our goals..
a strong binding path that leads us to what we want..

i used to dream to find my princess in the story of my life...
the castle that we going to build,
the fight that i must undergo to protect her,..
the comrades that are going to salute us a welcome..
everything seems perfect in tales..
but what if its a dream...
a dream that is beyond the wild imagination of reality..
a thing that doesn't exists..
what if we just woke up and face the real..
the fear of having dragons,
the fear of having this archenemy..
what if all is just a dream..
a dream of what things should be...
the reality itself is what we should be...
its sometimes hard to accept that in this world,
there are no happy endings...
in this world, we face our fears just to survive..
there's always something ahead of us...
all we have to do is to move forward...



you know what...?
even though i hate dreamers...
i still dream...
i still believe in that so called fate...
i still believe in hopes and and destiny...
maybe because dreams is just the way to free myself from this nightmares..
a way of expressing myself..
and as i grow older..
i realize..
you must not dream..
of a lover that dies for you...
but a lover that live for you..
you must love your lover as if its a beggar...
not as a princess that wears a gown...
that you must dream for yourself...
not for the sake of others...
because dreams that comes true,
is not a dream, but a reward for your hard work..
in this world, we are made to dream...
a dream that will never end...
every big thing comes out from just a small dream..
all we have to do is work for it.. :D

HAppy SumMeR.! ^^

the vast starry sky...
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the star go down to kiss you,
the wind goes high to hug you..
the chill of missing someone thrills the atmosphere
the heart that longs someone so near..
i told the night sky the name of my love,
and to whisper in your ears that i miss you..
i know that i can sleep soundly tonight,
but i miss your arms around me,
my heart longed for you,
oh i wish you where here..
as i turn and watch the sky turn blue..
its not the same without you,
because it takes two to whisper quietly...
i cant help but think bout you,
my mind filled with your smile.
i look at my hands and feel sad,
couz the spaces between my fingers fit yours perfectly.
i think about the times we use to talk,
the smile that makes me smile,
the camouflage of feeling makes me think your right here,
i dont feel so alone.
couz i know that right here...
missing too...
as many particles of sand i'll think of you.
as many times as i blink ill be saying your name,..
i'm so blessed, where just under the same sky...
and there it was..
as my eye's turns violet,
as my heart turns blue,
i look again in the sky...
wishing that your looking at the same star..
thinking that your beside me,
i can finally say that i'm not alone..
and then  the night goes warm again,
the wind has become sweet again,
the then, the moon finally look down,
stars fall into the sea,
i lay down in the cold grass.
:D

i miss you hug,
i miss you kiss,
the way you smile,...
the way we talk,
i miss everything,
i miss my love..
miss you donna..
:D

(no subject)
trapped
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the star go down to kiss you,
the wind goes high to hug you..
the chill of missing someone thrills the atmosphere
the heart that longs someone so near..
i told the night sky the name of my love,
and to whisper in your ears that i miss you..
i know that i can sleep soundly tonight,
but i miss your arms around me,
my heart longed for you,
oh i wish you where here..
as i turn and watch the sky turn blue..
its not the same without you,
because it takes two to whisper quietly...
i cant help but think bout you,
my mind filled with your smile.
i look at my hands and feel sad,
couz the spaces between my fingers fit yours perfectly.
i think about the times we use to talk,
the smile that makes me smile,
the camouflage of feeling makes me think your right here,
i dont feel so alone.
couz i know that right here...
missing too...
as many particles of sand i'll think of you.
as many times as i blink ill be saying your name,..
i'm so blessed, where just under the same sky...
and there it was..
as my eye's turns violet,
as my heart turns blue,
i look again in the sky...
wishing that your looking at the same star..
thinking that your beside me,
i can finally say that i'm not alone..
and then  the night goes warm again,
the wind has become sweet again,
the then, the moon finally look down,
stars fall into the sea,
i lay down in the cold grass.
:D

i miss you hug,
i miss you kiss,
the way you smile,...
the way we talk,
i miss everything,
i miss my love..
miss you donna..
:D

im yours, and your mine.... :D
trapped
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when i was a child, i thought that clouds are moving by its own will,
as if they're moving where they want to go...
and then, my teacher told me that they are
only controlled by the wind... carrying and blowing it
freely in the sky... as if it never ends..
but as i grew older, i found out that in this life,
we are controlled by our own self, by our own time...
that life itself is carrying us to our own destiny...
then, it carried me to you..

March 5, another chapter..
another story to tell.. another page has given to my life...
the midnight breeze brushing through my cheeks...
words to remember, a moment to cherish...
a night of hearts, a love of a lifetime...
three words, that i longed to hear..
a never ending story that will be engrave to a stone..
every minute, every second, i will love you... this heart will be yours..
forever i'll be true... my words cant express this feeling...
the moment that ive been waitng for...
thank you for saving me..
thank you for letting me know that i'm being loved
a savior..
youre my sanctuary...
thank you for giving me light ,again in this never ending night..
this time, i'll never walk alone...
you'll always be by my side..
the love that greets the early morning..

hands that meet each other..
hearts that is bonded for a reason...
a stranger to friend,
a friend to lover,
a lover to "you and me, together"
i love you irog.. ^_^ im yours...

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